Never Enough

I am never good enough but i forget that sometimes.

Not good because i say harsh things.

Not good because i say nice things.

Not good because i did not do things.

Not good even if i did do things.

Oh how is it that we can know someone for our whole lives and still not know a person truly.

Funny how I am still not over this part of my life. Probably won't get over it even till the day that i die. 

Here is praying on that day i may finally rest. 

You only talk to me about Stars

You only talk to me of stars,

Not the dark forest or chilly winds.

Nor the moon and its white light.

If i no longer talk about stars,

Will you cease to talk to me too?

In life we often meet and bond with people over similar interests, similar environments and similar genders in some cases.

Like my gaming friends who only seem to chat me up if its about games. Or when i open a topic and they feel uninterested to continue the conversation.

Often times i find myself lonely in those moments. Whereas i would try to enjoy their interests and be happy for them but i feel alone in my own world.

You talk to me about the stars but seem to lose interest in me when i talk about the moon. Of its dark side, its seemingly beautiful light in the darkness, not cold but like a warm guide in those dark moments, of the untold stories behind her surface, the strength in her gravity.

You talk to me about stars, but when i no longer speak about stars will you cease to speak to me too?

note: just some ramblings about losing contact with people who you thought distance would not seperate. but it did.

Every Five Years

Every five years

The love i have

Tested

and i am reminded

once more

how difficult it is to love me.