Baby steps

Bismillah

If I could remember what it felt like when I was 1 years old, I'd be pretty amazed with myself. Babies are brave, daring, and probably a bit noisy. I wonder how babies feel when they take their first step.
Glad?
Excited?
Scared?
Nervous?

I'm in a phase of life where I must force my selfish lazy self away and bring in a new mature adult. There's so many things going on in my life, yet here I am still unsure of how to move. So much shocking news this year. So many new experiences. Not sure whether it's a good thing or bad but I know if I did not have the strength Allah S.W.T. has given me through my awesome family, I'd probably be too worn out right now.

Baby steps are very difficult. You're afraid to fail, afraid to be rejected, afraid that you'll not get back up again. So many fears. Thank God I'm a simple person. If it has to be done, then there is no point prolonging the inevitable. I pressed that button. Time that has once stopped will begin to move again. I might be disappointed, but at least I've tried. I'm not so brave as to approach the problem like a spartan wielding his sword but I'd at least be a normal girl who tried her best.... with the help of modern technology. hahaha.

Life has just been such a roller coaster this year. Wonder where it will take me.

Alhamdulillah

p.s. I can't believe what a coward I've become. Just this one thing and I'm so afraid of hearing the same words again.