Ibadah Levels

Bismillah

Oh my. The few weeks I've been here I do realise how much I've fallen behind in my ibadah and I do realise that I should do something about it but... but... but.... T____T

It's so much easier to fall to your own desires then to fight other things because your desires are something that you feel good doing it. It's easy to get mad or frustrated or fight against something you don't like. You could throw things at it, punch it, kick it.... heck take a gun and shoot it but something that makes you feel good you're bound to want to do it despite knowing how bad it is for you.

I sleep too much, eat too much, waste time too much and a whole lot of other failings. God I just wish it was easier to fight against myself.

But.... there is no use complaining about it and not doing anything. Maybe I won't be successful this time but even though I feel like I can't forgive myself, Allah S.W.T. is Oft Most Forgiving and if I fail today, I'll try to be better still. Sometimes in life I wish I could just sleep forever (I'm not suicidal mind you) and I ask God why must I live tomorrow just to do more sins towards Him. However I know that He lets us live tomorrow to give us hope to be better and I'll hold on to this hope He has given and repent.

InsyaAllah all will be well. Have faith.

Alhamdulillah